IMAGE IS LOADING, PLS BE PATIENT.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
havent been updating my blog much. perhaps because i am of an ok mood (have been kind of hanging out with him. it feels so comfy. but there's restriction to some actions we do.) till yesterday when this sucky feeling came back to me, once again.
that friday when he sent me home. i badly wanted to shout for him back and hug him and to never let go. but its so.. i dont know? i doubt he will want that.
i cant help myself but to wish that i can stop at my happy moments.
its painful to know that the last celebration we had, our 11th month, usually, ever since he admitted his confusion, we will sleep in a very silent way. just that that night after our late-night vcds session, before sleeping, we were brushing our nose against each other, giggling, trying not to let his mum know that we're still awake.
true enough, no more tears await me every morning, except for today - when i got reminded he's no longer mine.
i felt that pain again when i remembered he's no longer my bf. this feeling simply sucks.
the feeling is, i simply cant be explained. i know we have many unhappiness during our relationship, but i know i have a reason to smile. but now, my happiness is short. i realised i cant be happy for one whole day. anyway, yup. i admit i dont remember when i was happy. i knew there were days when we were laughing, but i am too afraid to open up my diary and read. i am a coward, yes i know. and i am known for my bad memory.
oh god. i cant continue on anymore... =( argh!
alright. my exam, i passed everything except for maths 2. i hope i can find some motivation. frankly speaking, he's the one who gave me the will to hold on, especially in yr 1 sem 2 when we are kind of at the peak of the relationship. i wanna thanks him for that.
I am bleeding inside.
2:12 PM
