IMAGE IS LOADING, PLS BE PATIENT.
Friday, August 05, 2005
i know its hard to make decisions, too much factors to consider. furthermore, the misinterpretation of self adds on to the burden.
doubts, perhaps they are just confusion.
i thought that the actions explains its love. especially when it just comes naturally.
happiness, perhaps i should say its bliss that we're having. cant get the kick of missing each other because of the sight of one another almost everyday due to school.
but i drew a line across, clear and defined. between school and us.
so i treated you as a friend in school. i mean isnt a bf supposed to be your sweetheart, friend, brother, everything? positive. negative.
too much of each other may triggers the result of not feeling the happiness. but i arent unhappy either.
i just enjoy your company, really i do. felt so secure. especially when you gave me the so-squeezed hug that sometimes strangled me. but its so comfy that i wish the world will just end there.
i care for you because i know you are someone special to me, and someone, i hate to admit: someone i love.
perhaps i dont give my care and concern just anyhow. i am selfish, yes.
i know that i love someone when i give my care and feelings to that person willingly. and that i am feeling bliss.
i am ok with your character too. if i arent ok how can i tolerate you? and how to like the character? perhaps i do know if i like or not, but how to really know its like. i mean of course i like your concerns that you showered me without you knowing and the fact that you are faithful to me. i like such characters. how would it be ok. cos its obvious i look out for such characters in a boyfriend.
i am ok with your childishness, and sometimes you getting carried away when you're crazy. that's what i know i am ok with. and still there's many which most people dont usually look out for in a bf.
i will say i like your character that you care for me, and always there to lend me a listening ear. and of course, being faithful to me. you didnt realised that i know, but its supposed to be the other party being your mirror and realises it.
my heart just sank real deeply when i think of what could happen to us.
it seemed like its a dark pit hole waiting for me.
its a tough time for you. but i wanna let you know i will always be behind you. and give you time to sort out your confusion. i will be patient. and keep our activities as normal.
whatever decision you make, i will abide by it.
every night, i pray that you will be the one who sail through the good and bad times with me, as we really start learning about each other. because, i know everyday people change and i have more to learn about you, especially now when i felt that you are like another guy.
and i know that i do love you.
*sniff.
I am bleeding inside.
1:26 AM
