IMAGE IS LOADING, PLS BE PATIENT.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
found this article online ( http://charmainesaunders.com/love.html )
its rather long but find it kind of true. explanation of love. guess for the thinkable sort of people. well-written by dr charmaine.
`Love makes the world go round,' the saying goes, but what is it really?
If I could offer an absolute definition , I guess I'd be rich and famous but I'm going to go out on a limb and say I do actually think I know what it is. I can't supply a one-line dictionary definition; in fact, it's going to take this entire article to explore the subject thoroughly. There are as many opinions and ideas about love as there are people on the planet, probably but what we think consciously about it isn't necessarily our deep belief, e.g. most people will say that love is caring, putting others first, giving of oneself. But if your unconscious belief about love is that it traps and restricts you, for instance, your outward behaviour and choices will approximate your inner belief more readily than any intellectual notion of love. Let's start our exploration.
TYPES OF LOVE
There are obviously many different types of love. Love of family is not the same as love of friends or love of country or love of books or love of children or love of spouse. Each one is unique and special and I believe we need a whole range of love-experiences in order to fulfil our full potential for emotional and spiritual communication. But most especially we need to cultivate love of self. I say `cultivate' although it's a perfectly natural thing because self-love is largely frowned upon in our society and is generally conditioned out of us by the time we first go to school. Yet what love most definitely ISN'T in my view is blind self-sacrifice which surely approximates masochism and martyrdoom more closely.
SELF-LOVE
Self-love is the foundation of all other loves. Yes, we've all heard that you can't love someone else till you've learnt to love yourself, and, of course, I concur but what I'm talking about here is much more than that. It's deeply psychological and basic to our wellbeing at all levels. Why then? Because love is energy, nothing else. Can we see it or touch it or measure it or weigh it? No, never, but we can certainly feel its effects and its influence on the world. We see it in the bond between mother and child, in patriotism, in inner courage and strength, the cornerstones of true love, in comradeship in war, friendship that spans a lifetime, in an artist's dream that becomes reality on the page, the canvas, the music sheet, in the pure love of work and service. If, therefore, love is energy, it comes from within, from the deep recesses of the soul and emanates from our life-force, all that is beautiful, pure and true about us. It has no life outside us; we project it out into the world and it has a boomerang effect but it doesn't flow from the other direction by itself. Does that shock you? It certainly goes against everything we're taught in the Western world, from popular literature to the media to our generational stories. What is the usual message of love? That we have to be the lucky recipients of this wonderful component, and the nicer, smarter, better-looking and sexier, the more `perfect' we are, the more `lucky' we're likely to be. In truth, love has nothing whatever to do with the detail where, in this case, God definitely isn't. If love were `only for the lucky and the strong,' no unattractive, damaged, disabled, unintelligent, weak, dull or rude person would ever be gifted with it. Self-love is actually a redundant phrase for all love is self-love as it's energy we own and share, indiscrimanently, as it happens, not selectively as is popularly believed.
ROMANTIC LOVE
Romantic love is the opposite of true love because it is an illusion, coming from a biological shift in hormones and conditioned responses to stimuli such as flattery, scent, peer pressure and sexual desires. Attraction isn't based on what we think it is; it has little to do with appearance, personality, height or eye colour. There is a whole set of complex unconscious patterns going on that we are totally unaware of - until we choose to understand ourselves a bit better, and even then, we're never going to be 100% in charge; we're still at the mercy of our emotional baggage, that arsenal of core beliefs that we carry from our childhoods. So we blithely `fall in love' and only find out after the honeymoon period, whether we've chosen from our love centre or from what passes for love - romantic illusion. Our choices then are to cut our losses and run or stay in our endless cycle of pain and disillusionment. If this all sounds very bleak, it's all too familiar - I've been there, you've been there. Anyone who has participated in courtship, dating and love affairs or long-term relationships has been there. We certainly all want the magic of romance but not only for six months and not as a disguise for love. Romance is the icing on the cake but love is the cake.
SPIRITUAL LOVE
Love, along with creativity, joy and sexuality is part of our spiritual equipment, an integral part of our innate identity. So, when we come from that place and let the love within us shine out, it gives off an aura that is more attractive than any superb body or stunning face. It literally draws people in. Perhaps that's what `charisma' is. Spiritual love is the love that transcends the mundane, the petty, the personal, bypassing individual connection and encompassing all that is and all we encounter. It is love with a capital `L' and blesses everything it touches. It has the power to heal, to forgive, to bond, to bridge differences, to end conflict. In short, it is the greatest power on earth.
Every one of us owns this magic, all the time, love without end. Therefore, no-one can ever say they are unloved. How can you ever run out or lack something you own unconditionally inside you in infinite supply?
Some years ago, I read a book which profoundly changed my thoughts about love. It was `I come as a brother,' a channeled book by Bartholomew. He says that love is something you are, not something you have. There are so many beautiful passages in this book but here's one I share now - `Love is your very essence, your very being and you have no control over it for it is what you are. It has been given to you by the source. You cannot do it, you cannot will it, and you cannot demand it. You already are love.'
Love then is not limited, hard-to-get, selfish or earthbound. It is universal, mystical, miraculous, accessible. It is not a goal to be attained if you're lucky, resourceful or beautiful. It is the raw material of all happiness, a commodity, spiritual coin - so use it wisely, don't squander it. Don't settle for brass, search instead for the gold within you. Then when you reach out to others, your relationships will reflect the joy of your positive choices instead of the negativity of your fear and self-defeat. None of this comes with a price tag, there are no entrance fees or set qualifications. All you have to do is allow it. It flows freely like a mighty river surging from an abundant source that is yourself.
A beautiful lyric from a song by 10CC says - `Let it grow, let it grow; let it blossom, let it flow. Love is lovely so let it grow.' The Beatles sang that `All we need is love.' Indeed this is true but make sure it's the real thing.
I am bleeding inside.
2:56 AM
