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Tuesday, October 05, 2004
5 Oct 2004
i am totally demoralised. i cant sleep. tried to lie on my bed. many thoughts kept flashing on my mind. weeped a little. but didnt wanna a swollen eye tml. decided to blog. wanted to call somebody to pour my sorrows. but didnt wanna disturb anyone. maths really sux. today had pipc. sux too ya? it totally dragged my mood down to a deep pit which noone can retrieve me from. moan to kel a little about my maths. cos he just smsed to wish moi gd luck. well. told him how i am gonna give up. how my dreams are gone. and how life sux. but i didnt wanna talk to anyone anymore after that. and ya. life sux.. totally. true. life isnt about studies. i do have other nice stuff. but my goals for studies are sorta gone. tml.. i will just do my best. half of me didnt wanna give up. but guessed its the best way. i wanna b persistant and persuade on.. trying to do the last min practices. but guessed its too late. regret the start of semester. shouldnt have done this shouldnt have done that. well. its too late ya? life is full of regrets. i hope mine is not totally.. i mean like hopefully i am not living a life of regrets. true.. i have friends who stood by me.. i have happy moments.. hopefully my future will be a nice one.. but still. i am feeling v v v vdepressed. hais. if tml i just walked away without saying a thing... i guessed i am really feeling v down. i hope i will at least fake a smile or try laugh my problems off... putting a false front like i always do.. hiding my feelings... ya. but still. i gotta try to do that. i dont wanna cry out ya? i will swollow my sorrows.. bottle them up~ anyway. wish me all the best. and i still feel sucky. i wish i wasnt even born. life is too stressful. god. hello tears~
I am bleeding inside.
1:08 AM
