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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
30 Aug 2004
today was a sad day for me. my term test, i flunked practically everything. and during apel lessons, Mrs C requested to meet me tomorrow. i kind of expected that to happen. but still, i burst into tears upon hearing this. its like the world had crashed down upon me. i had been burning this sorrow in my heart since very long time ago. wanted to cry, but didnt dare. was very strong already. initially i didnt really cry. but somehow my classmates saw. its like i just couldnt control. i just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. i hate myself. but at the same time, i was very touched with a gesture of one of my friend. he accompanied me all the way to get my stuff at white sands. shouldnt reveal the name. (^^*,) he even go to the extend of carrying my bag. hee. secondly quarrelled with one of my friend. i was very sad and disappointed and hurt by his blunt accusation. he was very shallow. and unreasonable. looked at the surface of every situation. thats the problem with people. i hate to admit it, i do that too i guessed. but let me emphasize: SOMETIMES. anyway i was very pissed at the same time. nearly scolded him. mango was damn angry too. i was also kinda upset with one of my another friend. (related) but at least that person bothers to hear me out. if my the another friend ( that shallow one) wasnt a nice friend before this damn incident, i would have scolded him back. however i still wanna maintain this friendship. thus i just let him talked all the way. didnt answer him. what the hell. hais. i couldnt really sleep. my heart is raining as dark clouds cast upon me. dont wanna think about it anymore. *deeply hurt*
I am bleeding inside.
4:23 PM
